DHAKA: Stop nitpicking: This is the first relationship red flag. If you pick holes about everything from what he wears to how he speaks, bear in mind nobody wants to be around a nag, and not if she is a girlfriend, for sure. You will give him the impression that he winds you up more than soothes your nerves. You may argue that he is nice, but doesn`t meet the criterion of the perfect guy you always dreamt of being with. That surely doesn`t give you the licence to be the change maker in his life. Preventing him from hanging out with his crazy friends, or stopping his videogame sessions in an attempt to stabilise him will one day get the better of your relationship. We suggest, give him some space and enjoy yours.
Get a life: So, your job is important to you. Good for you. However, don`t let your business become the centre of all the conversation that you have with your man, unless you`re facing a crisis at work and you want him to hear you out. Calling off dinner dates, being on a work call and attending to your mails while you are with your partner is extremely disrespectful. It shows that you probably are having a relationship with your job than with your guy. Relax, once you are through with the day`s work, switch off. Enjoy your time with your man and maintain the sanity of your relationship.
Hold your horses: It has been a while since the two of you are dating, and you have been waiting for him to propose marriage since the day you met him. Then, you would probably be waiting for the rest of your life. Hold your horses. Learn to go with the flow. Don`t go about introducing him to your parents after the second date, and invite him for family dinners after the third. That said, don`t be ambiguous too. If you are serious then let him know, or else let him go. Men can gauge the difference easily when the woman is playing hard to get, or when she is playing mean games.
Don`t be silly: It is okay to speak to yourself, or tell yourself that you are pretty in front of the mirror every day. But don`t expose your eccentricities in front of the potential `to-be` when you are only just six months into the relationship. You may scare him off for good. Give him the awkward gaze, but save those crazy eyes when you know him a lot better.
Learn to trust: The basis of any healthy relationship, besides love, is trust. Don`t be insecure. If you are constantly wondering whom he is with or speaking to, then you, perhaps, need a reality check. Walking on thin ice is unhealthy, and not when there are feelings involved. At that rate, you will reach the shrink before you make it to the marriage registrar`s office.
Stop venting: Your boss hates you, your friends envy you, your mum doesn`t listen to you, you are fat, and your world is as crappy as it gets. Too bad, learn to deal with it. But don`t make your partner your vent hole. No guy wants to sit with a girl and hear how round her tummy is. People want to be around happy and optimistic kinds, not someone who whinges the entire day. Before you know it, your guy will be complaining about you to his folks. And even before you realise, he probably has become the reason you are whining to others about. Stop playing the Moaning Myrtle. Occasionally, give him a patient ear too.
Move on: If you are in love with someone else, then you certainly cannot give your new relationship all that it takes. Should you find yourself in a situation like this, step back and reason out. Make it clear to your partner that you are not just that into him. Better to let him go, than cling on to someone only to make yourself feel secure and wanted. It is not fair to your partner. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Move on, and allow him too.
Source: ToI
BDST: 0247 HRS, DEC 11, 2013
