A breakup, for anyone, is almost always the lowest point in their lives. Some move on, but others take it to heart, and can enter into prolonged depression.
Also, several recent studies have showed, that a breakup is tougher for men than it is for women. Like any other loss, going through a breakup is a process, from which you can emerge stronger, and hopefully, wiser too if one takes it in the right manner. So, here are a few tested tips for you to tide through the rough patch.
1. Face it
The first response, for most people, after a good cry or a fit of anger, is to hide their sorrow. Substances like alcohol and drugs are mostly used for this, which experts say, is a very negative way to go about things. Psychologist, Dr Harish Shetty says, "While it is natural to try and drown one's sorrow, one must not go overboard with such things. If one is drinking, one can do things like make repeated
calls to the one you love, or do things that they would not do normally and regret." Instead, he says that one should acknowledge and accept the feelings.
2. Keep yourself busy
Another common factor is that, people try and disconnect themselves either by immersing themselves in work, binge-watching TV series and movies, or even truckloads of porn. This is not helpful. Shardul Motta, a marketing professional, says, "When I broke up, I watched back-to-back episodes of The Wire, to keep my mind off it. After that, I even watched The Sopranos. And sadly, now that I look back, I don't remember or get excited by any of them. It was a very dull, monotonous experience." He adds that he wished he would have watched those TV series with an open mind at a later date.
3. Stay away from her
Out of sight is out of mind, and this rule must be carefully followed. Don't try to get her back. If you know it's a normal fight, and things can get better, go ahead and do it. But if you know for sure it is over, then there's no point. Sobin Panicker, a banker, remembers his first breakup and says, "I would call, and play sad songs. I harassed her friends to try and patch us up. I even went down on my knees, but nothing really worked." He agreed that it was a sheer waste of time. What's more, now he's even friends with his ex. "But I look back now, and feel it was quite lame!" he exclaims.
4. Enjoy being single
What most people fail to see, after a break-up, is that they're single again with a world of possibilities of finding someone special. Psychologist and counsellor Varkha Chulani says that, a most men have a sort of tunnel vision while going through a break-up, and that they can only see what's happening in their lives at the moment, "It is natural for people to have a tunnel vision and have thoughts about a dark future. But they should always remember that they will be enjoying freedom as a single person again, and that presents various options to them." Another thing to remember is, that a break-up allows you time to asses your life, as you have the time and the opportunity to do things that make you happy.
5. Take a man-cation
If it's getting too much for and you feel like the city is closing up on you, take a quick break. Go on a road trip or just choose a nearby destination . However, be sure to go with a friend, though, since going alone can get tricky. Also, make that trip with a single friend, because going with a couple can make you feel like you're left out. So, hit the beaches, soak in the sights, eat well and treat the trip like an emotional detox. Besides the break-up. it's always a good thing to recharge your batteries, and come back fresh and motivated to tackle life head-on.
BDST: 1534 HRS, December 15, 2014
