What is it about our times that has made life so `stressful' Are times more difficultOr is it that we have learnt to respond to situations differently

Well, it is a bit of both. No matter who you are -a full time worker, a parent, or even a movie star juggling 10 commitments -there's this sinking idea that stress is insurmountable.

Here's the truth You can't beat stress like an opponent in a tennis match, nor do you triumph over stress or crush it like a glass. Instead, you learn how to change your response to it, so you can control how upset you get at any given moment. Remember, the same boiling water which hardens the egg, softens a potato. Here are seven ways to free yourself from stress responses.

-IDENTIFY THE SOURCES
Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. And this isn't as easy as it sounds. Sure, you may know that you're perennially worried about work deadlines. But your true sources of stress aren't always the obvious ones, and it's all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.But maybe it's your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress. To identify the real source of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses. Ask your self these questions.

» Do you explain stress as temporary even though you can't remember the last time you took a break » Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or personal life or as a part of your personality, or do you think you just have nervous energy around you » Do you blame your stress on other people or outside situations, or view it as entirely normal

-LISTEN FIRST
You're probably not as good at listening as you think. That's because you interrupt in an effort to fix the situation. But sometimes all that a person in a difficult situation needs to do is listen. And if you listen rather than rush to fix it, you shift out of your own distraction. Through listening, you'll even improve the quality of your relationships, which will in turn provide you with muchneeded support when you're stressed or down and out.

-STOP EXPECTING
The thought patterns that get you stuck are known as thinking traps, and mind reading is one of them. It assumes a few things. One, that if someone valued you, they would know what you're thinking, and second, that it's everyone else's job to anticipate your needs and wants.This creates stress and tension even in relationships. So, open your mouth. Communicate precisely what you need and why before you get annoyed. You can cut those emotional responses off at the pass, and change the nature of your present.

-CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE
Look away from your screen every 20 minutes at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. Shifting your gaze (plus standing up for a few minutes every hour) can help break a stressful mind set, and give you a physical and emotional, shift in perspective.

Talk with a colleague for a bit. Just that brief moment can carry you through a day and build your resilience against future stress.

-RELY ON IMAGINATION
Think of a bitter, negative thought or habit into awareness, then picture it getting smaller and smaller, until it disappears like the setting sun. Do this several times with memory, get into the details, until you notice that it no more concerns you.The visualization technique breaks the grip of stressful thoughts and habits. It's a simple, powerful tool, as you use the power of your imagination to shift how you perceive the world.

-BE HOPEFUL
Do you find yourself thinking, that you are helpless, that nothing can change the miseries of your life.When you catch yourself in this thought, stop and acknowledge the purpose of assuming the worst.What does holding onto this assumption do for you Do you need it any more Always know there is hope. You don't have to have all the answers to be able to take care of yourself and be open to the possibility of change. Be secure in the knowledge that you are fine where you are, you are meant to be where you are and things will change for you, when you change.

-ADAPT TO THE STRESSOR
Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Look at the big picture. Ask yourself what are the lessons you are meant to learn from it. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. The goal should never be perfection. It should always be progress.

Source: Times of India

BDST: 1649 HRS, SEP- 03, 2015
Edited by:  Sharmina Islam, Lifestyle Editor