Are you aware that every time you pick up your phone and choose to text rather than dialling the number to talk and convey what you want to say, you are actually allowing yourself to turn into a borderline schizoid personality Characterised by emotional detachment and social withdrawal, people with this personality disorder, have difficulty in expressing emotions when communicating with others. Clinical psychologist and counsellor Varkha Chulani says, The positive and favourable reinforcement that youngsters receive when they send texts encourages them to continue doing so. They do not get proper replies when they talk and this leads to their leaning on texting. It is becoming increasingly challenging for them to make conversations and they are learning to become schizoid personalities. Our lifestyle is dominated by the promiscuous use of technology and that encourages similar behaviour, which, over the years, erodes the ability of having a proper, functional, face-to-face conversation.
Many relationship issues crop up
Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany says, I see around 10 clients a month, who have issues related to the Texting Syndrome. It is a major concern among the youth today. Many relationships have misunderstandings because the couple text and do not talk or express themselves face-to-face. Gadget addiction is one of the major contributing factors. Some tend to become conversation phobic while others become conversation-avoidants.
Texting is conversation control
People turn to texting because it gives them a conversation they can completely control. One gets to say exactly what they want, at the time they want it which may not be the case when it is a phone call or a face-to-face. Vis-a-vis a phone call, texting allows you to decide if you want the conversation to take place at all on not.
Confidence takes a back seat
Texting gives one the ability to hide, in plain sight — but the sad thing is that avoiding conversations eventually makes sure that one is completely alone, because of the schizoid personality traits creeping in.
Leads to escapist behaviour
Escapism or running away from problems and not wanting to own up to feelings is one of the major issues of texting. Seema says, People discuss important issues via text, even something as grave as announcing a break up. They turn into escapists.
Maintaining a balance is the key to deal with this
As long as one knows how to balance face-to-face and electronic conversations it works well. Problems begin and relationships suffer only when one surpasses the other.
Tips to deal with texting syndrome
- Avoid discussing issues, conflicts on texts and messaging apps.
- Parents need to confiscate phones for certain time periods and encourage children to go out, meet their friends and interact socially.
- Souls need nourishment that gadgets and text messaging cannot give — the touch, the feel, the laughter is essential and should be encouraged.
- One needs to go back to calling people or having a face-to-face meetings whenever one can.
- Interpersonal skills do not develop in youngsters who are slaves to text messaging.
- Read the content carefully if you receive a text message on any issue. Do not get defensive on messages.
- Never respond impulsively on text messages. Many relationships have gone kaput due to this.
- Texting syndrome is a kind of addiction and one needs to unlearn the habit.
- Mix texting along with conversation via digital media like calling, skyping or facetiming.
- People who are non-communicative and want to escape easily, use these methods. One needs to work on their personality to address issues personally.
Effects of avoiding conversations and sticking to texting
- Chances of developing schizoid personality increases.
- The ability to comprehend the subtleties and complexities of a relationship is completely lost.
- Typing out a text saying sorry vs calling up or saying it face-to-face will make you lose out on all the visual cues. The hurt, the discomfort, the emotions and the empathy won't be comprehensible.
- Interpersonal skills will not develop.
Source: Times of India
BDST: 1614 HRS, NOV- 18, 2015
Edited by: Sharmina Islam, Lifestyle Editor
